Nothing Without Love

A week ago today I got on a plane and set out on my biggest adventure yet. With one backpack, three suitcases, a passport and lots of prayers, I was ready.  I met up with a missionary team in Atlanta and ventured across the ocean on a long, but exciting flight to Accra, Ghana. After spending three very long hours in customs because of items the team brought to give to the village children, we headed to the GILLBT guest house not far from the airport. I had been traveling for over 24 hours by the time we arrived at the guest house and was exhausted. We had to be up by 5 am the next morning to take one more short flight to Tamale (Tah-mah-ley). Once we arrived at the airport I was greeted by Dan and Di Dzokotoe, the lovely couple that I am now living with.

The drive from the airport to their house was the first time I really saw Africa, but it was like I had been here many times before in my mind.  I was not shocked by the women carrying babies on their backs and baskets on their heads, or barefoot children with ragged clothes, or homes made of scrap metal and trash that lined the streets. I was shocked that I wasn’t shocked by it all. After arriving at the Dzokotoe’s home I walked through the backyard to the school. The children greeted me and yelled out “Auntie Becca!”, I was told that the last American girl that left only days before I arrived was named Becca and we look quite a bit alike. Meeting the children for the first time almost brought me to tears because I have waited so long for that moment. Before I left America I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I would really be teaching in Africa soon, but standing in front of them made it all very real.

goats in Tamale 

A few of the kids at school

On Friday I was able to go out with the IHH team (the group I flew over with) to the village of Tarikpaa which is about a 40 minute drive from Tamale. We met with the Ghanaian team in the church that is being built in the village. We had an hour of prayer to start the day off. It was more of a traditional Ghanaian prayer meeting so there was lots of loud singing, praying all at once, and translating from English to Dagbani.  At the end, Pastor Mohammad called me up to the front and told everyone there what I am doing at the school and the entire group prayed for me. It is hard to describe how that moment felt. But try to imagine over 50 people, young and old, different languages, all praying for you and the work you will be doing. It was an untouchable moment.  We then walked into the village hand in hand with beautiful, barefoot, dark skinned, little kids. My heart was so happy. We got to meet the chief of the village. He has a nice hut where he was sitting up on a platform and we sat around him in chairs and on the floor. He was very kind and even let us take a picture with him at the end. It is acceptable in Ghanaian culture to have multiple wives and he currently has 3 and over 40 children. The last thing we got to do in the village that day was visit Pastor Mohammad’s home. He lives in a very small hut with other huts connecting to his that his wife and children sleep in. He wishes that he and his wife could sleep in the same hut but it is their culture that the wife sleeps in a room with the children and since their goal is to reach the people of the village they want to be as much like them as possible without going against their own beliefs.  Something that I just cannot get out of my mind is when his wife showed us where she sleeps. Two plastic mats sit in the corner that she rolls out at night on the concrete floor. Beside it was just her bible. She was not ungrateful or ashamed of her living conditions, but she was satisfied with what she did have. It painted the most beautiful picture of simplicity and truly relying on God. It made me feel very ashamed of the way I have lived so richly in America. I was reminded how overly blessed I have been growing up with more than I could ever truly need. I never want to forget her and her similarity to the woman described in Proverbs 31. I’ve never met a woman that depicts the scripture as well as she did, and I had only just met her.

walking through Tarikpaa

huts in Tarikpaa village

The IHH team with the chief of Tarikpaa

just love 

the woman in the center is Pastor Mohammad's wife, this is her kitchen

this is where Pastor Mohammad's wife sleeps

saying "goodbye"

In this city of about 1.5 million Ghanaian people, one white American stands out and there is no other way to put it. I am getting used to all of the stares and waves because of my skin color, people telling me they want to be my friend just because they think I have money,  the Muslim call to prayer that wakes me up at 4 am every morning (also after lunch and dinner, every day), cold showers, power going out at any time and for however long, never using my left hand (it is considered and insult), never being in a rush for anything, going to bed early, never wearing makeup, and long skirts every day.

 However, I was fearful of what I would teach these people and how I was going to help them. Twice within two days before I arrived in Tamale the scripture 1 Corinthians 13:3 was shared with me in America and in Ghana by different people.  "If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.”  God was so clearly telling me that all I have to do is love them. I complain to God often that I hate how much love my heart has to give, because it often just leaves me with a broken heart and people to miss. This is absolutely why God gave me the heart he did, to love these people. I may not have any clue why God has called me here or what exactly I am doing to help them, but I do know that I can love them. 

village children 

12 Bittersweet Days!

I haven't posted in a long while, sorry about that!  A lot has changed since I last posted. I graduated college, moved out of my house into my parents, switched towns, changed jobs, and a lot more little things. I am a bit of a procrastinator, so my "Africa to-do list" has been sitting on my bedside table and rarely does anything get marked off. Until now that is! I am 12 short days away from beginning the journey to Ghana!

 It is amazing to me to see how things come together. I am easily overwhelmed by the amount of things I have to get done before a certain point, but when I truly hand it over to God, it always gets done at just the right time and in the right way. I now have my passport, visa, vaccines, malaria pills, itinerary and more long skirts than I will ever need!

Story time: I was expecting to pay about $200 for my prescription medications to take with me so I was putting it off till the last minute (because that will make it cheaper, right?) and yesterday I went to get them filled, said a little prayer on my way there that they would be affordable and if they weren't that I just accept it and not dwell on it. When I went to pay, they were only $50! 1/4th of the amount I was prepared to pay! When I got home I was then even more blessed by my dad giving me that same amount to cover the cost. I was busy worrying about how much they would be because it would cut out of the funds I have to live on while I am there, and the whole time God knew I wouldn't have to pay a penny for them. I'm truly learning to cast my cares on the Lord in this whole process.

"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22

When I have read this verse in the past, I just thought it meant tell God what you are worried about and he will take care of it. After just reading it again, I began to really think about what "cast" means. The definition is to "throw something forcefully..". Throwing forcefully and casually sharing are two very different things. If we are intentionally casting our cares on the Lord, we are giving all of our worry to Him and leaving none left for ourselves. He will work in amazing ways if we begin to follow this command.

I am more than certain that God is going to keep me safe and provide for me on my journey, but I ask for your prayers too. If you feel called to pray for me please focus on these specific needs:

-Safety in all of my travels to and from Ghana.

-Openness and flexibility to things that are different from what I expect.

-Financial support for living expenses while I am there and funds to return to Ghana after the first 6 months there if it be in God's plan.

-Ability to recall what I have learned and use it to my best ability to help teach the students and teachers of Greater Heights International School.

-Confidence to share God's love with the Ghanaian people.

-To clearly hear God's voice and learn why I am called to Ghana and what my future holds.


I will hopefully be posting more often with updates from Ghana!

Grace and Peace,
Shelby

Where Love is Fear Won't Tread

Last Saturday was the 100 day mark. I've been anxiously anticipating this day and now that it has come I am slightly more realistic than I expected to be. I thought that I would be full of the excitement that I have been holding back, but instead the fear that I have been hiding and ignoring began to overshadow that excitement. All day Saturday, on the 100th day till departure, I had the strangest mix of emotions towards going to Africa. Like I posted before, emotions have been a very real part of this entire adventure. For some reason, in my mind, I was not able to have any true feelings toward the trip until the countdown hit 100. Yes, I have been excited, and nervous, and anxious, and sad, and curious, but it was all a blur.
I have had countless people ask me "Are you scared?" I always respond with the same thing, "Yes, but I know it is what I am supposed to do." I put on a face that portrays confidence and I leave it at that. Not only have I been convincing others that I am brave and unafraid of moving halfway across the world to a country I've never been and to live among people I've never met, but I have also been convincing myself of the same disillusion.
Monday night I was at a bible study that I attend regularly and we were worshiping with singing and praying. I was in a living room full of like-minded people. We come from all different walks of life but we have one thing in common; we all love the same God. As I was sitting, surrounded by friends, praying and singing to the Lord, I broke before Him. I confessed that I am terrified to leave. I am scared beyond anything I've ever known to leave these people. How can I leave them? I don't want to. I cannot imagine not having them right next to me, a phone call away, and in the same community.
In the middle of praying these things to the Lord which I had not even realized until that night, a dear friend came up to me and told me she was going to pray for me. I always feel honored when someone wants to pray for me so I gladly nodded, giving her the goahead. She began to pray over me the exact words that I had said to the Lord just moments before. I was in awe. Completely humbeled before God, I began to sob. I could not hold in the fear any longer, the Lord was asking me to give it all to Him. The words that the Lord spoke through her to me are something I will cherish forever. I know that our God is a loving, caring, compassionate, real, and present God. He is active in our lives and He wants to be in every aspect of them.
The one thing that my friend kept asking me was "Is God big enough?" Is God big enough for our problems? Our fears? Our secretes? Our insecurities? Our worries? I know He is!   Is God big enough for you?

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Not My Plan

Emotions are a strange thing. I have never felt such opposite feelings in all of my life. I am constantly excited and yet terrified both at the same time, with many more emotions mixed in between. There have been a few nights that I have cried myself to sleep while letting my mind reel of how lonely I most likely will be while in Africa but the Lord gently whispers "you will never be alone" and I am reminded that He has led me here and He will be with me the whole journey. On the other hand, multiple times a week someone I don't know very well at all will ask me about Africa or someone will post words of encouragement on my facebook and I truly cannot smiling because of the feeling that I get when I think about what I will be doing over there. When I get lost in thought (usually during class, sorry professors) of being in Africa I can actually hear, see, and feel it. I can hear the kids coming up to me and hugging my leg, I can see the red dirt all over my feet, I can hear the kids laughing and learning and it gives me a feeling inside of complete joy that I cannot put into words. I have come to believe that it is simply the devil trying to stop me when I think of being alone and scared. Then the Lord reminds me again that this is HIS plan and I am able to see the joy and feel His peace.

Things are coming together just as they should. I have my passport and the airline ticket has been reserved.Support letters are sent and fundraisers are being planned. Bracelets have been ordered to sell and will be in soon. Raising the money is a huge part of this  and it is easy for me to become overwhelmed by the dollar amount but again, I have to remind myself that I did not plan this, He planned this and He will make a way for me to go. I am so excited to see the Lord work in this aspect of the trip. This is where I have the most doubt and I know that He will just blow me away.

decisions, decisions, decisions

ive never really enjoyed making important decisions. ive actually always hated it. there have been a lot of decisions in my life that i felt were incredibly important and life-altering but none as huge as the decision i have finally come to regarding africa and graduating. 

i have received (almost) nothing but affirmation from everyone in my life about my decision to go to ghana. I am incredibly overwhelmed by the response of people with whom i have shared this news with. after much prayer, counsel, tears, and consideration i have decided that i will be move to ghana in july 2012. 

i also was given the option of going straight to where i will be living and not doing the mission trip with my team or doing the mission trip and then going to my job. this was an incredibly difficult decision to make because my heart was set on the mission trip and i had planned on going with friends. in my head, this was a time of transition for me to get used to ghana while still being with my american friends. i finally decided that it will be best for me to go straight to my job and living with the family that started the school. this will save a substantial amount of money and i feel like this is the best option for me. I will still be able to fly over with my team and see them a few times during their stay.

 i was presented with yet another decision. graduate in may 2012 without a teaching certificate or withdraw and come back to get my certification? there are pros and cons to each and i have played them all out in my head more times than i can count. i have decided to graduate in may 2012 with a degree in elementary studies and a minor in psychology.  

many people might say that graduating without being certified is a waste of 4 years of school, or that i really should just finish what i started, and that i may need it to fall back on. but i have no choice but to trust that the Lord will take care of me. hasnt he always? i strongly believe that i was in school the last 4 years for a reason and that took me down the path that has lead straight to me teaching in africa. at this point, i cannot see past my year in ghana. i am not sure if teaching in the states is something that the lord will lead me to or not, but i do know that if it is, He will provide means for me to do that when the time is right. 

i know that that was a lot of information and it might not all sound pretty and poetic but this is more a place for me to keep track of what is going on because some days i truly cant believe what is happening in my life so i have to write it down. 

please continue to pray for me and the work that i will be doing in ghana and thank you to everyone who has already been doing so. i appreciate you more than you know.

Truth

i come across verses daily that inspire me and keep me motivated to continue on this path that God has guided me to. i want a place to compile those specific verses so that when i am feeling weak, as so often i do, i can go to them and be reminded that this truly is the work of the Lord.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.  And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.“If you love me, keep my commands."  And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:12-18

" So do not fear,for I am with you. Do not be dismayed,for I am your God. I will strengthen you with my righteous hand. All who rage against you will be ashamed and disgraced. Those who oppose you will be as nothing, and perish. Though you search for your enemies you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you "Do not fear. I will help you." Isaiah 41: 10-13

"If I am not doing the works of my Father, then do not believe me; but if I do them, even though you do not believe me, believe the works, that you may know & understand that the Father is in me & I am in the Father." John 10:37-38 

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

 "Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family and go to the land I will show you." Genesis 12

"This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands." 1 John 5:2

let the adventure begin. part 2.

this past summer i made the move from MO to CO. it was a temporary move only lasting three short months. however, it was the best move i ever made. i worked at ymca of the rockies in Estes Park, Colorado where i was a day camp counselor. i traveled out there with one of my best friends ellyn. we truly had the best summer of our lives.

 we met some amazing people while we were out there. the kind of people that you stay friends with for the rest of your life even though youve only known each other for a very short time. a few of these people also share a passion for africa. it was amazing to see God bring us together from all over the country with such similar interests and be able to share and encourage one another. im not sure if i encouraged them, but they encouraged me in ways im sure they dont even know. this is just one more example of God working in my life and leading me to africa.

after praying and praying for literally years about africa and what i was supposed to do there i started looking into going on a mission trip for next summer. i looked at many different organizations but nothing clicked. somehow or another i was lead to my friend caleb's mom who leads mission trips. cheryl (calebs mom) and i set up a skype interview and when it was over i could not stop smiling. i knew that this was it. this was the trip for me to go on. you can read her blog here and the site for the organization we will be going with here. the trip is scheduled for july 14-26 to Ghana, West Africa. 

i continued to pray about this trip, the other people that would go on it, raising the funds to go, the people we would meet while in africa, and just that everything would fall into place. 

the Lord definitely has a bigger plan for me than i do for myself.  just the other day i read a post on cheryl's facebook wall stating that she has a friend in Ghana who has started a school and is looking for a teacher to come and help them. i wish that i could adequately explain the feeling that i had when i first read this post. my initial reaction was "wow! that would be amazing!", and then a quick thought of doubt that i wouldnt be able to do something like that, and if i could, surely this isnt it, and then a voice in my head told me to message cheryl about it. all of those thoughts happened in less than 1 minute and within 5 minutes of reading her post i had already messaged her.  there is no harm in asking questions and finding out information, right? immediately after i sent the message to cheryl, i recieved a text message from my dear friend nikki who is also friends with cheryl on facebook. the message simply said "do it" with a picture of the status cheryl had posted on facebook that i had just responded to. this was another goose bump moment. 

over the last few days i have been in contact with Di, the lady from Ghana who has started the school and is looking for a teacher. initially, i thought that this opportunity might be one that i could start after graduation in december 2012. after speaking with Di i learned that they would prefer to have a teacher there by september of 2012. this did not change my desire to go, but it does make me stop and think about what decisions i will have to make regarding school and graduating. there are many possibilities at this point that i will wait to dive into on here. 

so at this point i am in a slightly unknown spot. i absolutely 100% feel that God has opened each of these doors for me. i know that He is asking me to look into this. i know that He is asking me to consider this. i am willing to do whatever He asks of me. i do want to be sure of what He is asking and make sure that i am not just jumping at something because it is what i want. 

i ask for your prayers as i continue to seek out God's voice in this situation. i pray for an open mind. i pray that i will gladly quit school and move to africa if that is what He wants but i also pray that if He wants me to finish school and wait to go to africa, that i am okay with that as well.