Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Not My Plan

Emotions are a strange thing. I have never felt such opposite feelings in all of my life. I am constantly excited and yet terrified both at the same time, with many more emotions mixed in between. There have been a few nights that I have cried myself to sleep while letting my mind reel of how lonely I most likely will be while in Africa but the Lord gently whispers "you will never be alone" and I am reminded that He has led me here and He will be with me the whole journey. On the other hand, multiple times a week someone I don't know very well at all will ask me about Africa or someone will post words of encouragement on my facebook and I truly cannot smiling because of the feeling that I get when I think about what I will be doing over there. When I get lost in thought (usually during class, sorry professors) of being in Africa I can actually hear, see, and feel it. I can hear the kids coming up to me and hugging my leg, I can see the red dirt all over my feet, I can hear the kids laughing and learning and it gives me a feeling inside of complete joy that I cannot put into words. I have come to believe that it is simply the devil trying to stop me when I think of being alone and scared. Then the Lord reminds me again that this is HIS plan and I am able to see the joy and feel His peace.

Things are coming together just as they should. I have my passport and the airline ticket has been reserved.Support letters are sent and fundraisers are being planned. Bracelets have been ordered to sell and will be in soon. Raising the money is a huge part of this  and it is easy for me to become overwhelmed by the dollar amount but again, I have to remind myself that I did not plan this, He planned this and He will make a way for me to go. I am so excited to see the Lord work in this aspect of the trip. This is where I have the most doubt and I know that He will just blow me away.

2 comments:

  1. Shelbs, I love your heart. Those kids are going to love you so much. They will minister to you more than you will know :) Let me know when and where bracelets will be for sale!!

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  2. Thanks love :)

    I will definitely let you know!!! They are awesome!

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